now hearing - lost count by ebba forsberg
Doves
Little children snuggle, under mother’s breast, baby’s breath, growing up and growing older and losing everything. The world does not wait for us, and we are bound to it by a bloodline of fear. Too scared to reach out past the thick veil of doubt and defiance to deal with reality.
We must learn to let go. We must learn to let go. We must learn to let go. We must learn to let go. We must learn to
Let go
Let go…
I closed my eyes, and breathed in, and opened my hands and my heart, and let them fly.
Doves, on dead wings, I held onto feathers catching rain and dirtying under days
I could not breathe life back into their small, faded bodies
By the shore, I tossed my past into the river, under clouded crisp skies
I let it rain down
I let it rain down on me…
It was the only way to be reborn
Mother, you died, and I died in that moment.
Father, you died, and I died in that moment.
One door closing opens yet another
The rooms never-ending until our light comes around
What will you choose? What will you choose?
I choose life
I am a different person, to the very core. I am changing everyday. I am living out of the shadow of former life.
Emancipation spells scars across my backbone
My skin, forming into new patters, under dark nights without you
New mornings I now wake to, foreign hands before me
Who am I now? Mother, what will I become?
Father, what will my name sound like now?
I am rain, as black as night, and thick as days
Soft
Like the wings of doves
I am crackling under bones and earth, waiting to emerge covered only by
Screams and lightning white eyes
The first breath
Catches…in the throat
Fingers of light caressing neck,
The pattern steady, reemerges
And I learn how to breathe again
For the first time…
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